Cheesecake/Beefcake of the Week: 3/21/12
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- Published on Wednesday, 28 March 2012 01:00
- Written by Rokk
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Once again, we will be touring the latest comics from Marvel and DC for fine servings of Beefcake and Cheesecake. Last week was another disappointing offering from Marvel and DC in the Cheesecake category. However, DC definitely has loaded up on the Beefcake as of late. They want those ladies to check out the DCnU! Hopefully, we won't have to turn to Image and Zenoscope to bail us out this week for some tasty Cheesecake. Warning: Do not go any further if you are sexually repressed, puritanical or believe in censoring what other people view and read. For all the rest of you deviants, go on and check out what we have for this week.
ANITA BLAKE: CIRCUS OF THE DAMNED #5
Marvel kicks off the Beefcake for last week's comics with more men without shirts! Seriously, ladies. If you like Beefcake then you really should be buying any and all Anita Blake titles. It is chock full of Beefcake to the point where it actually makes DC look positively modest with their Beefcake.
AVENGERS X-SANCTION #4
Holy crap!! What happened to the Falcon?! Sam is making Luke Cage look puny. The Falcon shows off muscles on top of muscles. And rock hard man butt as well. I'm pretty sure that Hope likes Sam's backside judging from the look on her face!
WOLVERINE #303
You know, the short and furry Canucklehead has become a fixture of the Beefcake of the week. I guess ever since Hugh Jackson made women all hot and bothered with his portrayal of Wolverine, Marvel has decided to sex up the comic book version of Logan just a bit. Yup. Logan is sporting some pretty insane muscles. I mean, do we men even have back muscles like that? And talk about calves! Wow. And, of course, Wolverine shows off that he has some perky man butt as well. Take that, Falcon!
CATWOMAN #7
Ah, yes. Classy and tasteful. C'mon, fellas! Admit it. We all have a few banana slings in the closet! Nobody has been rolling out the Beefcake like DC since the New 52 and it continues this week. See, ladies? Catwoman isn't just about appealing to the prurient tastes of men! There is something for everyone to enjoy!
GREEN LANTERN CORPS #7
You are supposed to be overwhelmed with the sadness of the death of a Green Lantern. You are supposed to be overcome by the emotion pouring out over the grieving loved one. You should be enraptured by such a powerful and sad scene that tugs at your heart. But you aren't. Because you cannot stop staring at John Stewart's overly muscled body and his incredibly pert man butt!
NIGHTWING #7
Of course, you can't talk overly muscled body and perky man butt without talking about DC's official man-slut: Dick Grayson! Ladies, if you buy this comic Dick promises to sleep with you.
JUSTICE LEAGUE #7
I'm sure that most of you always thought that the "A" in JLA stood for "America." Wrong, my friends. That "A" stands for "ABS!!!!" The boys of the Justice League show off abs that any woman would want to wash her clothes on. Hmmm, maybe I know understand why Wonder Woman enjoys being the only female on this team.
Hal Jordan didn't get a chance to be in the splash shot from the preceding page, but he wanted to make damn sure that all the ladies knew he had rock hard abs as well! I'm pretty sure that the only two requirements to be in the New 52's Justice League are rock hard abs and a skin tight costume.
LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #7
It is not easy being a make character in DC's New 52. There is so much Beefcake to compete with. However, Mon-El is clearly not going to be discouraged as he shows off some of the most insanely chiseled abs you will find in comic books. Does anyone remember when Mon-El's classic costume that looked so sharp and didn't fit him like a second skin showing off nearly everything including whether he had been circumcised or not? Yeah. Good times.
You know DC's mandate for more Beefcake has gotten out of hand when even Jan Arrah shows up with the body of a Michelangelo sculpture! Maybe he was just jealous of Mon-El trying to hog all the attention from the ladies?
CATWOMAN #7
Holy crap!! Is this DC Comics actually delivering some Cheesecake?! How many weeks has it been? Probably since the last issue of Catwoman came out. Nice to see that Selina is as overly inflated as she has always been.
UNCANNY X-MEN #9
Nice. Emma Frost reminds me of those classic Bond women from the 1960's. Smart. Deadly. And, above all else, sexy. Well played, Marvel.
THUNDERBOLTS #171
BOOM! That just happened. This, my friends, is some classic cheesecake. Color me impressed, Marvel. Of course, this panels does beg the question of how in the world Songbird's breasts stay in that tiny little bikini top.
All right, that is about all the Cheesecake I could find from DC and Marvel. Not much to speak of. And since DC and Marvel loaded up on the Beefcake I feel like I short changed the fellas with this column. So what do we do when that happens? We turn to Image and Zenoscope!!
WITCHBLADE #154
Wow!! Image manages in just ONE panel to give us more Cheesecake than both Marvel and DC combined in all of their titles from last week. I don't know where to begin with this one except for the fact that if I ever have to be attacked by a hostile mob I hope it looks as good as this one.
GRIMM FAIRY TALES #69
Okay, so this is issue #69 so it would be just wrong if Zenoscope didn't load it up with some Cheesecake, right? In just one page we get the classic theme of women behind bars, a massive cleavage shot and not one but TWO butt shots. I didn't think it was possibly to cram this much Cheesecake into a single page and still tell a story at the same time. Well done, Zenoscope.
What the hell? Seriously. Are those bowling balls that she had inserted underneath her skin?
I don't know what it is but nothing in the world of comics puts a smile on my face like a well placed butt shot.
Aaand, that is all we have, fellas. Sorry for that. Hopefully, next week we will get more Cheesecake from DC and Marvel and I won't have to go so heavily to the well of Image and Zenoscope. We will be back next week when we re-cap the Beefcake and Cheesecake that was delivered in our batch of comic books that we picked up today!
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Rokk began his little Blogger blog known as Rokk's Comic Book Revolution on January 24, 2006. One wife and two little boys later he is now the Editor In Chief of the Comic Book Revolution and works with some great fellow comic book fanatics. You can keep up with Rokk and his musings through various formats.
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